


Free

by AutumnBrooks6705



Category: Larry - Fandom, Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Character Death, Dark, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Lost Love, M/M, Mental Health Issues, One Shot, Pain, Short One Shot, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:15:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29755323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AutumnBrooks6705/pseuds/AutumnBrooks6705
Summary: Hey!This will be pretty dark so make sure you read the trigger warnings before you read.If there is any grammar or spelling mistakes please let me know and I will fix it.Thanks for reading!!!*~A~***********************************
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Kudos: 1





	Free

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! 
> 
> This will be pretty dark so make sure you read the trigger warnings before you read.
> 
> If there is any grammar or spelling mistakes please let me know and I will fix it.
> 
> Thanks for reading!!!
> 
> *~A~*
> 
> **********************************

There once was a time when we were free.

Free from the toxic thoughts that now cloud our fucked up minds.

There once was a time when we could leave these four walls we are now confined to,

a time when we could utter the curse words that don't describe us.

There was once a time where we could look someone in the eye, smiling wholeheartedly and say 

"I'm fine"

But now your gone and never again will I hear your beautiful voice, never hear you laugh, never see your beautiful face. Life isn't fair and its full of uncertainties.

You told me once that I should live because we still had a lot of things to do together. But how are we supposed to do those things now? You are not here and you won't ever be again.

It kills me inside to know that I will never get to see you standing at the end of the aisle, that I will never get to see your face in our children, never get to see streaks of silver running through your long curly hair, never be able to look into those beautiful emerald eyes of yours, never be able to tell you how much I love you ever again.

You thought me so many things You thought me how to love. Trust. Believe. You thought me that life is about more than just the past. It's about the present. It's about the future. It's about time, and time. Time has been our worst enemy. How can such a valuable thing be taken for granted like that? Well I took you for granted. For so long. Too long. 

You will die over and over again for the rest of my life. Grief is forever. It doesn't go away; it becomes part of you, step for step, breath for breath. I will never stop grieving you because I will never stop loving you. It is what it is. Grief and love are conjoined, you don't get one without the other

I can't even imagine how it must've felt, closing your eyes and letting the pain put you to sleep, darkness consuming you as you take your last breath, a final tear escaping your eye, slipping down your flawless face.

I wonder what you were thinking, did you think about me? I want to know what your last words were, so I could replay them over and over again in my mind, carve them into my skin, scream them at the top of my lungs.

I wish for so many things, thing I don't deserve. I wish you could've seen the light, found a reason to go on, if only I has been there when you needed me. I always told you I would never let you down, always be there. But I wasn't. I lied! I lied to you Harry, and I will never forgive myself.

I wish you could've realized how many people love you not just me. People who's lives will not be complete without you in them.

I wish I could have convinced you to hold on for just one more day, just one extra day. There are so many things I should have done, so many things I should've given to you. 

I remember hearing this song on the radio, you singing it as you gazed longingly out of the bay window you spent most of your days. I can still hear your sweet, sweet voice singing it. If only we had known what was ahead of us, maybe we would've ended it ages ago. You sang the lyrics so oblivious to their true meaning

Mmm, too young, too dumb to realize  
That I should have bought you flowers  
And held your hand  
Should have gave you all my hours  
When I had the chance  
Take you to every party  
'Cause all you wanted to do was dance  
Now my baby's dancing  
But he's dancing with another man.

Only The other man your dancing with is death.

People tell me to live for you, for us but how can I when we are one, I am missing half of me when we're apart and I have no hope of being complete.

But don't fear my angel soon we will be one once more dancing in heaven away from the horrific torture of our minds and then we will finally be at peace. 

We once were two  
We two made one  
We no more two  
Through life be one


End file.
